I've just moved in to a flat with my friend. They are mostly filled with old people, but yesterday we heard boots, so like any self respecting man should, we both ran to the spyhole to see who it was. We only saw them from behind, but they looked hot....from behind.

Then we were going out, and we saw them again getting in to a brand new Range Rover Sport driven by a ridiculously hot woman. These are cheap flats, so this means that we are 95% sure that they are hookers or footballer's wives.

Despite only having seen them from behind, we want to get in to their pants. The only problem is, we have no idea if they are 16 or 50, and it would be quite awkward to knock on their door and be met with an old haggard face. So I open this to you, what should we do? We were going to write a note, but argued about what to put on it.